Don't Give Up (Working Title, Short Story)

She sees the road in front of her.  One straight dirt path.  It seems scary, she thinks, clothed in a little torn dress. Her bones protrude through the thin linen covering, and she has no coat to wear nor shoes for her feet. Her medium-length brown hair falls down along the frame of her face, and is a stringy as her dress.  This dress has seen many years, and has been worn and tattered...but it was all she had. Her green and gold eyes change from bright green to a blue-gray, depending on her mood.  Today, she feels the gray in her soul.

She stared down the road. This road that she must go down isn't laden with gold or silver.  It doesn't have flowers or birds.  It's dark. A sort of gray, clouded atmosphere engulfs the little dirt path.  Gloomy mountains are at the end of her vision, accompanied with lightning and thunder.

She has this choice in front of her.  Should she go down the path?

She was told once by a Man she met, that there's light at the end of the path.  He had experienced it.  He knew of this light.  This Man, who came to her in a dream one fateful night, shined so brightly.  He had a warmth and comfort about Him that she had not seen or felt before. In the dream, He told her who she was, who she had been, and where He was taking her.  He is taking me somewhere, she questioned.  She was perplexed at the fact that someone else was taking her somewhere and she did not know where.  Who takes me anywhere, but ME?  I am the only one who decides where I go...right?  


A jolt of icy wind shakes her from her flashback.  She turned to look back at the path she had come by.  It got smaller, she thought, perplexed.  She remembered the pain of the past, and the anguish she had not only seen, but experienced first hand.  A voice that she knew all too well appeared in her thoughts.

"Go back,"  it said.
"But I've come so far.  How could I return to the past?"

The voice seemed pleasant, but there was a note and tone that made her shudder inside.  The pitch of the voice made her want to listen to it.

"Look in front of you.  Does that look appetizing?  Why should you continue down a road in search of a light that you don't really know is even there?  Who is this Man anyway?  He is lying to you.  He doesn't know who you are.  I know who you are. Trust me."
"But I know the Man is real.  I know He is.  He told me things about myself that I didn't even know.  He wants me on this road, moving forward.  Why should I go back?"
"You silly little girl.  You know nothing.  You are nothing.  You have nothing without me.  Remember how much fun you had, back when you were mine?  Remember those days?  You can have that again, and so much more.  Trust me, I'm the only one who knows who you really are.  And let me tell you...you are worthless unless you do what I say.  You think listening to a Man in some dream is going to make you any better?  You got another thing coming, you ignorant little slut.  If He knew who you really were, He'd reject you faster than your friends.  You're lucky I haven't done away with you yet, you ugly piece of trash."

The voice had become louder and more forceful.  Maybe it was right.  She had done too many things in her life to think that finding the light was attainable.  She was worthless.  She was trash.  Her heart sank and her head dropped as the voice continued it's rampage of hate towards her.  He reminded her of all the things she had done when she belonged to him.  He reminded her that it was her fault, and that only he could handle the greatness of her fall.  He reminded her that he gave her ways out of her pain.  He was sure that this Man would not care for her, and would not see her through to this so-called light.  By the end of his lecture, she had crumbled to the ground, like a skeleton that had lost it's muscle and skin.

"You should just give up now, you know,"  the voice suggested, in a snide tone.  "Yeah, you know, just give up.  'Cause obviously you don't have the strength to continue either way.  I don't even know why I bother with you.  You're too weak.  Just give up.  Do it.  See if your Man will come and save you."

Silence abounded between them.  But in her head, she questioned everything.  Her mind was racing a mile a minute, and the confusion in her heart escalated to utter chaos.  What was she to do?  She knew in her heart that the Man in the dream was real, and she knew she wanted to follow Him, and she even knew that this was the path He wanted her on.  But where was He?  Where was He when she needed Him most?  When she needed Him to defend her from that voice again?  She felt an angry bitterness towards the Man arise within her.

"This is YOUR doing, You know,"  she screamed into the sky.  "I'm here because of You.  Why do You leave me like this?  Why do You abandon me in my time of need?  Where are You?"

Tears began to stream down her face.  She cupped her face in her hands, and wept aloud.  She didn't care who saw, because no one was there to comfort her anyway.  She was alone, and in pain.  She felt as if she was right back where she started, although the truth was that she had come so far.

A beggar man was walking down the path, and spotted her from afar. He approached with a cavalier attitude, which seemed odd because he was a beggar.  He came up behind her slowly, standing tall over her.

"Get up," he thundered. Shocked and a bit afraid, she quickly wiped her eyes and attempted to make herself presentable.
"W-what," she sniffled, still wiping her eyes and fixing herself.
"Get up," he thundered again.  "You have to keep going."

Who is this, she thought, that is telling me to get up and keep going.  The voice of the beggar was almost recognizable, but she could not pinpoint where she heard it before.

"I can't do it,"  she replied.  "I'm too weak. I just want to give up."
"I didn't ask you if you wanted to get up.  I told you to get up.  You must keep going on the path. Get up."
"No," she argued.  She wasn't crying anymore.  Now she was just angry. "I've been abandoned and hurt.  No one is here with me to help me.  I can't do it.  It's too hard to do on my own.  I quit.  I have to quit.  I can't go back. I can't go forward.  I just need to quit."

"OK," the beggar said.  "I was going to help you, but if you just want to sit here and feel bad for yourself, I will let you.  Oh, and for the record, I know the way to the light."

Something kicked deep inside her.  The voice of the beggar was too familiar.  How did he know the way to the light?  How did he even know about the light?  Maybe he could help her out of this mess.  She was sure that she would probably fail, but she thought it was worth a shot.

"Wait,"  she shouted after the beggar, who was already ten feet down the road.  "I don't want to feel bad for myself.  I am just having a hard time.  But, I want to find the light.  I want to go down the path."

The beggar stopped. He smiled, still facing away from her.  This is what he wanted to hear.

Suddenly, the beggar turned around and shed all of his sackcloth.  From underneath the beggarly attire arose the brightest light the girl had ever seen.  It was the Man from the dream! He was clothed in white robes and girded with a sword.  He had a crown of thorns on His head.  His hair was a shiny, yet humble brown color, and His eyes were like fire piercing her heart.  The olive-complected Man stared into her eyes with a love that she couldn't understand, but wanted so badly.  Suddenly, she realized that all the thoughts in her head were gone.  She was so consumed with the glorious beauty of the Man from her dream that she forgot about the voice and all his lies.

The Man held out His hand, and smiled. "Get up, and come with Me.  I will help you."

In complete awe and almost disbelief that this was happening to her, the girl got up from the ground, shook off the dust she was covered in, and ran to the Man.  She got up so quickly that she tripped a number of times trying to get to Him.  But she didn't care how she looked anymore.  She just wanted to be with Him.

He was real, and she loved Him.

When she approached the Man, she gazed into His fiery eyes.  She was so amazed at His beauty -- that had not appeared this strong in her dream -- that her mouth dropped and her eyes grew larger and larger by the second.

The Man cupped her cheek and smiled warmly at her.

"I will NEVER leave you," He assured her, "and I will NEVER forsake you.  I am always here with you, even when you can't see Me and can't feel Me.  You are beautiful in My sight, and I am so in love with your heart to do My will.  I will be faithful to you and I will make sure you finish your journey.  I AM the light that you search for.  So, don't look away from Me.  Don't forget Me.  I have not forgotten you, My beloved one.  Will you be faithful to Me?"

The question perplexed her.  It was almost as if He was waiting on edge for her response.  Tears were streaming down her face.  How could she not give her life to this Man?  How could she not be faithful to Him?  He has been so faithful to her!  He had loved her with an everlasting love, and yet, she knew not the extent of it still!  This is love, she thought.  This is why I'm alive.

Something still tugged in her heart.  She knew that His love was perfect, but hers was not. She knew she would fail Him, and this saddened her greatly.

"I want to be faithful to You, but I know I'm going to fail You," she responded, with grief in her soul.
"I know," He said with love in His eyes, "but if you take each day at a time, and sign up for loving Me every day, and you ask for forgiveness when you mess up...I will count that as faithfulness, 100%."
"Really?  But what if I mess up really bad?  How can You ever forgive me?  What about when I listen to that voice?  He always torments me, and I hate him for it."
"I can save to the uttermost those who come to Me with an honest heart.  Those who call on Me when the voice attacks with his deception will always be saved from him.  Plus, I have a whole army that does battle against him daily.  You need not be afraid of his power, because he has none against you...because you have Me.  Use your strength to call on Me, and I will save you from his tactics."
"Alright...then yes!  I will be faithful to You alone.  I will leave everything behind for You.  I will continue on this path.  I cannot do it alone, but I believe that You will help me."

The Man smiled greatly.  This was His desire...to be with the girl forever.  He took out a beautiful white dress from the satchel He had been carrying.  The dress shined like the sun.  It was the most beautiful dress the girl had ever seen.  With the dress, He retrieved a silver crown that had a name on it.

"Here," He said. "Put these on.  From now on, you are a princess in My kingdom. Wear these things proudly as you journey toward the goal."
She put the dress on immediately with extreme excitement in her heart.  One could swear it was her birthday.  She looked at the silver crown, shaped and forged so smoothly and elegantly.  But she could not read the name, for it was in another language.
"What does this say? I don't understand."
"I am giving you a new name and I am putting a new song in your heart.  The name is Rivka, for you are bound to Me forever. Remember this name when attack comes.  Because you are bound to Me, I will be with you where you are and I will save you."

He gently took the crown from her, and placed it on her head.  She was amazed at her new identity, and she didn't want to give up anymore.  The Man was worth her fight.  The Man was worth her effort.  He had clothed her in a beautiful dress and placed a crown on her head and promised to be with her.  She knew she didn't deserve all of this, but this made her love Him more.  She had a new resolve to never give up and never go back.  She was going to fight the good fight and run the race with endurance.  She would go down this path with confidence, because she knew He was with her. But one thing still bothered her.

"Can I ask You a question,"  she said frankly.
"Anything,"  He responded, knowing already what the question in her heart was.
"What is Your Name," she asked.  "You gave me a new name, but I want to know what name to call on."
He smiled and laughed.
"My name is Yeshua, because I am your salvation."



TO BE CONTINUED...