A Time To Transition

So, I made it to Kansas City!

There are honestly so many feelings swirling around in my little body.  I'm trying to filter them through heart and mind, but much of it just ends in tears.  Not bad tears.  Not good tears.  More like somewhere in the middle of desperation and fear tears.  Desperation for more of the Lord; more of His heart, more of His voice, more of Him overall.  Fear of taking the next big step (because this IS a BIG step) in my life.

While, on one side, I know that I this step is a must if I wish to be all I'm called to be, I also struggle with the fear and trepidation of failing, falling, and losing everything.  But, here I am again, giving it all to seek out the One I love.  Here I am, taking a step off the cliff and realizing He's placed a staircase under my feet so I might find the gradual way to being completely submitted to His will.  What my greatest dislike of this constant decrease in self and increase in Him is that I find myself doing it on my own.  Now, I do not mean this in a self-righteous way at all.  I actually mean this in the sense that, while there ARE others on a similar path, no one can tread the path I tread.  My path is my own.  Just like your path is your own.  No one can go with me.  No one can do it for me.  I have to do it on my own.  I must work out my OWN salvation with fear and trembling.  How great is the mercy of the Lord that He goes with us wherever we go and sends out His angels on our behalf, that we might never feel the depths of the great chasm of loneliness!

I struggle to push through the depression, loneliness, fear, and nightmares to find God in my situation.  It's an obvious blessing to be in a place where the anointing of the Lord and the Spirit of the Lord is so thick and tangible.  I find myself allowing the music and the Word to speak to me and pierce my soul.  I know the Lord has been doing something in me since I've been here at IHOP....I'm just not sure what that is yet.  I'll letcha know when I figure it out.  ;)

In the physical, He's confirmed a ton of things regarding what I'm to do while I'm here.  I start work at Starbucks tomorrow.  I'll be turning in my Transfer Application to IHOPU tomorrow as well.  I will probably be auditioning for this Performing Arts School called Dramatic Truth (a Christian Dance Academy) and continuing in my dance training.  I attended Or HaOlam yesterday and felt very comfortable in my new home away from home. Please continue to pray for financial support and partnership.  Now...I just need to find a place to live!!!!  :D

Thank you all for your prayers and financial support!  I will have thank you notes to those who gave very soon (as soon as I find them!).

Now, to God who is faithful to the end, be glory and power and honor forever!  Amen.