Unanswerable Questions

What does it take to be fully abandoned before the Lord?  What does it take to love Him more?  What do you do when you just don't feel like it?  How do you know it's Him speaking to you?  


How can I really overcome pride?  How can I really walk by Your side?  What if I don't want to go there now?  What if it's just too hard to handle?  


What if I don't like to pray?  What if I don't understand the worship songs?  What if I think the message is boring?  What if I know I'm not in the right place?  What if I don't know how to find grace?  


What if I'm not sure God exists?  What if I don't get this Holy Spirit?  What if I'm confused how He was resurrected?  What if I don't think that He is  perfected? 


What if the Bible seems weird and old?  What if I'm afraid of half the things I see and am told?  What if my sin is worse than you think?  What if I'm fooling everyone...but I don't know if it's ok?  


What if I want to know God, but mostly don't care?  What if my friends are more important?  Does He even care? 






I would like to say that the answer to these questions (that I have been asked in one way or another) are simple and easy.  But they're not.  I wish it worked that way.  I wish loving God and going hard after Him was like eating cake (for those of you that find that easy).  But reality is that we have ups and downs.  Reality is that we have to make the choice.  God doesn't choose for us.  He goes after us....He's the Hound of Heaven.  He wants you.  Reality is I can't answer half of these questions simply because I'm not you.  I don't know why you're bored.  I don't know why you can't find peace in certain areas of your life.   


I do know, however, that it's not enough for us to just "play congregation" anymore.  It's not enough to ignore the ones crying out for help with their negative attention habits.  It's not enough to just sit with our arms crossed during worship.  It's not enough to just pray on Saturdays.  It's not enough to ignore our fears and sins and issues and pretend like we're all "just fine".  


I have been guilty of all of these.  I choose daily to confront that and be real with God and myself about where I am.  Obviously, no one is perfect.  I am faaaaarrrrrrrrrrr from it.  But let's love the way Yeshua loves.  What does He do?  Are we studying the way Yeshua acts?  He was a Man full of passion and love.  I want to be like that.  I want to pick up MY cross and follow Him daily.  I don't want to miss an opportunity to love Him...and know Him...and see Him...and feel Him too! We're missing out on so much because we just don't feel like it!!!!  Isn't He worth more than that???  Isn't He better than our expectations of how our life should go?  His love is better than every earthly pleasure.  I want to get a vision for that.  


LORD, give me a vision for loving You rightly, and knowing how good Your love is!  Help ME to see You the way You deserve to be seen.  Help ME to stay wholeheartedly abandoned before you...no matter what it takes.  You're more than worth my time. In the Name of Yeshua the Messiah, Amen. :)