Fooling God

You can't fool God.  I think we all know that by now, right? 

Or do we?

I think of when the Pharisees in the gospels are called "white-washed tombs".  Think about what that means for one second.  White-washed implies that it looks nice on the outside.  It is clean on the outside.  But the inside (because it's a tomb) is death.  The Pharisees did all of the "right things" (or did they? Think about that).  They wore the "right" clothes, they said the "right" prayers, they didn't do the "wrong" things.  They were perfect in every outward way, right?  Or were they?  

They are called white-washed tombs for a reason.  What matters to the Lord, at the end of the day, is the heart. Where were their hearts?  Did they really love God?  Did they even know Him?  It says on another passage in the gospels that one sees the changing of the weather, but not the Messiah.  They missed out because they were so focused on the "stuff".  They focused so much on how they looked on the outside, that they forgot to cultivate the garden on the inside.  

Inside us, we have a garden (see Song of Solomon, NOT the literal interpretation).  That's an odd and kinda weird statement....but it's figurative.  Just keep reading...We have this garden whether we like it or not.  The choice we have is whether we tend to it or not.  This is our spiritual life, or our relationship with God.  How do we tend to our relationship with God?  We read the Word, we pray, we follow His commandments (out of love), we look at Him.  

The point, friends, is that it is all about Him.  Where is your focus?  Are you focused on the "stuff" more than the God?  Are you so focused on being Jewish (or not being Jewish) in expression, that you forget about your Jewish Messiah?  Who/What are we looking at?  

We cannot fool God.  It does not matter if everything on the outside is perfect.  What matters is whether or not you KNOW HIM.  The point isn't to do it all right...it's to do it because you love Him.  "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength."  The expression of what you do comes out of the overflow of your love for Him.  It is because I love Him that I dance.  It is because I love Him that I celebrate His Moedim (feasts/appointed times).  It is because I love Him that I do what He says.  Let's bring it back to what's real.  He is more real than any single human being.  Let's love Him, and express because of our love.  

Expression cannot stand alone.  One cannot lead a ministry or serve in any way for a long period of time without constant revelation of God.  One cannot fully understand the feasts and liturgy and teaching UNLESS they are already burning with love for their Creator.  It is because I love God that I express the way I do (which is the way He leads me to).  I express because I hear His voice and answer His call and respond to His undying love for me!  Look at God.  Do what He says, whether everyone else is doing it or not.  Our expression is our response to Him.  It's our "Yes, Lord!" in action!  Respond to God from a place of love.  Respond to God from a place of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him.  He is everything.  We are nothing.  

Lord, give me strength to stand in the expression You have given me, regardless of opposition and attack.  I want to decrease as You increase, Lord.  Help me to see You rightly, and to stand on the revelation You have shown me.  You are everything.  I humble myself before You and ask You to make me strong.  Let my insides bleed into my outward appearance and expression of who You are.  I want to express who You are.  Help me to know You more, that I might express You rightly.  You are God.  I am man.  I bow at Your feet and am in awe of Your Presence (Your Shekhinah Glory).  Let me love You more God.  You are my focus.  I set my eyes on You and You alone.  Amen.  

The Call To Love

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become a sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. LOVE suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself; is not puffed up; does not not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things hopes all things, endures all things.  LOVE never fails.  But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part.                            1 Corinthians 13:1-9 (NKJV - caps added)

 What a beautiful scripture.  This section of Scripture is spoken at many weddings.  I can see everyone in the pews saying, "Awww...they love each other."  It makes people cry.  And it truly is a very beautiful description  what real love is.  Thank you, Lord, for Paul and his immense wisdom.

But, if we really take a long at this passage, I think it's actually quite scary.  Why?  Because this is not just a call to love your husband or wife.  This is a call to love ALL people.  This is a call to love the ones that you DON'T want to love.  This is a call to love those who are on your bad side, the ones who piss you off, and the ones you're tired of trying with.

It's so much easier, sometimes, to love someone you have feelings for, or have a connection with.  But try loving that person who's hurt you already.  Try loving those at home, who you just don't see the point in fighting with/for.  Try loving the unlovable.

I find myself in this battle many times, specifically with people who have betrayed my trust or have hurt me before.  How could I ever trust them again?  How can I love them, when I'm always afraid they're going to hurt me.  So, I build walls.  I block them out.  "You're never gonna get in.  You can't hurt me because I won't let you."  After being hurt enough times in my life, I've learned to subconsciously build the walls, even to the point of rejecting my real care for my best friend.  What ended up happening was I lost all compassion for a person that Yeshua died for.  They were made in His image.  But the Lord works in mysterious ways and turned me around in the craziest of ways (yes, I meant to rhyme).

When we block others out, we're actually missing out on a blessing from the Lord.  We're missing out in experiencing His love!  It's so funny...we experience God's love by loving others.  It happens to me all the time.  When I really have compassion on and love those around me, I feel God's heart for them, and it makes my own heart melt.  Wow, God can love someone like that.  It really makes me smile.

But I have to ask, why this extreme call to love like in 1 Corinthians 13?  Why do we have to go that far for a person who we don't feel cares about us at all?  Well, the simple answer is this: we love because He loved us first.  2 Corinthians 13 is an extreme sacrificial love.  It requires a real grasp on the Beatitudes as a life practice as well as the fruit of the Spirit.  How do you love the person you want to slap....ask for self-control!  ;)

Yeshua loves the unlovable.  Yeshua loves the weird people.  Yeshua loves the ones who are constantly crying out for negative (or positive) attention.  Yeshua loves you.  Yeshua loves me.  He calls us to be holy as He is holy.  Be perfect as He is perfect.  Our goal is to be more like Yeshua.  So, doesn't that require a little more love?  Perfect LOVE casts out all FEAR.  A teacher at IHOP (I believe Mike Bickle) said once, "If you have a hard time with someone, give them money.  You won't have a hard time with them anymore."  Isn't that the truth!?!  haha.

My point is, friends, that the LORD is calling us to love those who are unlovable simply because He loves them (whether you believe they deserve it or not).  Compassion is apart of love.  Ask God for compassion on those who are unlovable to you.  Ask Him for compassion on those whom you don't trust anymore.  Ask Him for love. This doesn't mean you let them walk all over you...just love them.  Like Paul says, if you have all the spiritual gifts and then some....but, if you don't have love, you are nothing.  Think on that before you reject a person you don't like who is hurting inside.  A simple hug can go a long way....it does miles and miles for me. :)


Lord, give me strength to love others the way You love them, and to see others the way You see them.  They are Your creation, made in Your image, and they deserve my compassion. Give me strength to overcome my fears of rejection and pain, and help me to overcome the lies of the enemy.  Help me to take up my cross daily, just as You took up Your cross and died for every single person on this earth. Help me to be more like You, Yeshua.  I seek Your face only.  Amen.   

 

Unanswerable Questions

What does it take to be fully abandoned before the Lord?  What does it take to love Him more?  What do you do when you just don't feel like it?  How do you know it's Him speaking to you?  


How can I really overcome pride?  How can I really walk by Your side?  What if I don't want to go there now?  What if it's just too hard to handle?  


What if I don't like to pray?  What if I don't understand the worship songs?  What if I think the message is boring?  What if I know I'm not in the right place?  What if I don't know how to find grace?  


What if I'm not sure God exists?  What if I don't get this Holy Spirit?  What if I'm confused how He was resurrected?  What if I don't think that He is  perfected? 


What if the Bible seems weird and old?  What if I'm afraid of half the things I see and am told?  What if my sin is worse than you think?  What if I'm fooling everyone...but I don't know if it's ok?  


What if I want to know God, but mostly don't care?  What if my friends are more important?  Does He even care? 






I would like to say that the answer to these questions (that I have been asked in one way or another) are simple and easy.  But they're not.  I wish it worked that way.  I wish loving God and going hard after Him was like eating cake (for those of you that find that easy).  But reality is that we have ups and downs.  Reality is that we have to make the choice.  God doesn't choose for us.  He goes after us....He's the Hound of Heaven.  He wants you.  Reality is I can't answer half of these questions simply because I'm not you.  I don't know why you're bored.  I don't know why you can't find peace in certain areas of your life.   


I do know, however, that it's not enough for us to just "play congregation" anymore.  It's not enough to ignore the ones crying out for help with their negative attention habits.  It's not enough to just sit with our arms crossed during worship.  It's not enough to just pray on Saturdays.  It's not enough to ignore our fears and sins and issues and pretend like we're all "just fine".  


I have been guilty of all of these.  I choose daily to confront that and be real with God and myself about where I am.  Obviously, no one is perfect.  I am faaaaarrrrrrrrrrr from it.  But let's love the way Yeshua loves.  What does He do?  Are we studying the way Yeshua acts?  He was a Man full of passion and love.  I want to be like that.  I want to pick up MY cross and follow Him daily.  I don't want to miss an opportunity to love Him...and know Him...and see Him...and feel Him too! We're missing out on so much because we just don't feel like it!!!!  Isn't He worth more than that???  Isn't He better than our expectations of how our life should go?  His love is better than every earthly pleasure.  I want to get a vision for that.  


LORD, give me a vision for loving You rightly, and knowing how good Your love is!  Help ME to see You the way You deserve to be seen.  Help ME to stay wholeheartedly abandoned before you...no matter what it takes.  You're more than worth my time. In the Name of Yeshua the Messiah, Amen. :)    

Resting Under the Weight of the Waves

Just me. The sand. The clouds.

The wind pushes a swell of salty, extravagant waves toward the practically empty beach.  I feel the passion of the Lord  in each crash of a wave.  His love and jealousy desires to overcome my downcast heart.  Oh, to drown in His love.  To BE overcome by the Lord of all creation...an experience I feel unworthy to know.  The crisp air makes me fully aware of this.  It pushes me and prods me.  It goes deep into my bones and refuses to leave.  My skin grows cold.  Each hair on my skeletal arms stands straight up, like it's calling me to attention.  "I'm freezing," they tell me. "Make me warm again."  


You can't cover up cold bones with a simple sweatshirt.  The wind will overcome it.  It bullies me into submission.  I curse the wind, and yet, it never leaves.  It never stops.  It only continues to pierce me. 


Just me.  The sand. The clouds.


The waves dance before me.  I feel the rhythm they follow, and wish I was apart of that dance.  I want to jump in.  I want to feel the water pushing my hair back as I pass under each wave.  But no.  I don't trust it.  The wind reminds me of how cold it is outside.  How could I attempt to trust this wave of oceanic temperature?  Will it not make me an icicle? Will it not literally freeze my bones?  Why should I risk it?  Why should I trust?  


I convince myself that staying in the cold wind will be a better option.  Dry is better than wet!  And besides, I'm fully clothed!  No bathing suit.  Just me, my skinny jeans, a tank, a top, and two sweatshirts....and socks. If I were to jump in and dance with the waves, I'd get my pants and tank top soaking wet.  And it's too cold to take my sweatshirts off anyway, right?  


Just me. The sand. The clouds.


The wave continue to dance before me.  Oh, how I desire to be in the midst of their dance.  To dance with them and feel their rhythm in my heart and it cries out to me.  Don't I have sweatpants in the car?  


Little drops of water begin to trickle down from the clouds. Well, here's my chance...before it starts pouring. 


Just me. The sand. The clouds.


What will this do to me?  I'm not sure.  But I must trust the waves.  The waters will protect me from the wind.  I want to get lost in the ocean.  Never come out.  Whatever happens, I must trust the waves.  I will overcome by the power of the waves of love. 


Just me. The sand. The clouds.


I begin to undress.  First: my zip-up hoodie.  The second I stand up to remove it, I immediately hit a wall of icy wind, telling me not to do this.  "No," I say.  "I must step out and prove it to myself.  I must make this covenant."  My legs begins to quiver with fear.  


Second:  I remove my pull-over hoodie.  Another wall.  "No! I will do this!"  My whole body is afraid and trembling.


Third: My button-down blouse.  It's just me.  My tank top. My skinny jeans.  Me. 


I remove my jewelry and hair tie, and look towards the ocean.  My entire body is shaking uncontrollably.  Can I do this?  Will this really change me?  Can I survive this?  My heart responds with an undeniable 'yes'.  


"OK....here goes."  I move toward the ocean, looking around to make sure no one else sees me in my insanity.  I feel utterly insane at this point, but, I just can't stop myself now.  It's what's needed, and what's right.


Just me. The wet sand. The clouds.


My bare feet touch the cold, wet sand.  Not so bad...but let's see what the water does.  Standing a ways back from the deeper water, I allow a small wave to brush over my pale feet.  Well, that's not so bad. I begin to creep forward...afraid.  


Everything in me is terrified.  But listen, listen.  The crashing of the waves.  They call me.  They beckon me forth.  They are beautiful, glorious, and terrifyingly fierce.  But rightly I move forward. It's now or never.  I'm not stopping.  


I trust You.  I give myself freely to You!  I will never stop loving You! Here I am, risking everything for You!  I will fight for You!!  I am the one coming up from the wilderness leaning on her Beloved!  I will never stop!  I trust You! Here I go!!!


I move forward quickly.  The waves crash over my ankles, then my calves.  They reach my knees. I feel the cold, but I don't stop.  I will press forward into Your love.  I run as quickly and efficiently as a person can in crashing waves.  They keep coming at me.  Knee deep. Thigh deep.  Upper thigh deep. Waist deep.  I can't wait any longer.  I run at the next wave. Here I go!  I dive under the wave.  I rest under the power and weight of the waves.  I dance a dive under the waves.  It's so peaceful underneath the glory of the waves.  I wish I couldn't be pulled back up to the surface.  Oh, to live on water instead of air!  After the wave passes, my body drags me to the surface and I rise from the water with power.  


I stand on the beach again with my towel wrapped around my head, weeping. The clothes drip with the salt water.  My feet are sandy.  


Just me. The sand.  The sun.  


As I weep behind my towel and converse with the Lord, the sun comes out from behind the clouds.  I was under the dark cloud, and am now set free because I gave myself freely to my God.  I let Him have control.  I gave Him power and authority to run my life.  I allowed the waves of His love and grace and power to wash over me like flood.  I am clean.  I am washed by the blood of the Lamb.  I got to dance with the Lord.  :)


Just me.   Just Him. 


        

"Desert Cry"

Hey Everyone!  Check out my AWESOME dance team at the Southwest Regional Conference this past February!  We danced to "Desert Cry" by Jordan Elias.  :D