Did Someone Just Roar At Me? Encounters With Jealous Jealousy.

What happens when the love of God, nay, the jealousy of God encounters you in a way that you actually didn't want it to?  What happens when you realize that God actually loves you so much that He's willing to remove everything you hold close to get you to just look at Him?  What happens when you lose everything for the sake of knowing God?

You know, we say things like, "God, I'd do anything for You!  Just name it!" or "I love You more than any other" or "I count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord" (Phil 3:8-9)...but what happens when He answers our little prayers?  What happens when He asks us to do the unthinkable?  When He says, "Go here, now, and don't complain or ask questions"?  What happens when the thing (or person) you love the most is actually the thing that God wants to take away...because it's hindering your relationship with Him?

We can say these little prayers all we want, and they can be real in our hearts, but when He truly answers your "heart's cry" and takes you seriously when you say you count ALL things loss, will you be ready to throw it all away?  Will you be willing to give up that which you hold closest to your heart (however godly it may be) to follow Christ?

Shopping?

Coffee?

Boyfriends?

Alcohol?

Clothes?

Books?

Facebook?

Your family?

Popularity?


What are we really willing to give up for Him?  How far are we really willing to go to get closer to Him?  We can use all the language we want and we can make it sound all pretty in our unnecessarily long prayers to prove to others how holy we are.  But in the end...what will you give up for Him?

"Wrath is cruel, and anger a torrent, But who is able to stand before jealousy?"  (Proverbs 27:4, NKJV)

The word "torrent" simply means "a heavy, uncontrolled outpouring".  We think God's wrath is cruel, and His anger a heavy, uncontrolled outpouring, but have we met Jealous Jealousy yet?  I find myself overwhelmed and unable to stand at the presence of God's severe jealousy for me.  In my attempt not to be completely horrified and angry with Him, I find myself regressing to a rather laid out, on my face, sobbing over my weakness and His immense jealousy state of being.  What more could I ask for?  The God of love is loving me.  And yet, His jealousy has struck me to the pit of my being.  I'm immovable.  A stone in awe of the High and Lofty One.  It's like an arrow in my heart; I'm not sure whether to pull it out, or to just break the tip off and forget the rest. The Lord of lords has wounded me.

The love that I have been asking and waiting for has manifested itself as a Lion...completely terrifying roar.

Is this the God of love you know?  I sure haven't known Him like this before.  I've known His tender love and affection, His grace that empowers me to follow Him, and the One whose hearts burns for His children. I've known the Jesus who serves, the Jewish Rabbi, the Intercessor, the High Priest...and so on and so forth (we could be here all day if I listed them all).  Suddenly, the Bridegroom, King, and Judge all came together (meaning, all the facets of Jesus became one...even though they already were one to begin with, but you know what I mean) and this resounding "ROOOOAAAAAARRRRRR" came out of Him...so now I'm on my face, freakin' out. lol.

You know when God kinda just turns your world upside down and you're left in this pseudo-blob state with some twitching so people know you're alive?  Well...that's me. Right now.  I'm really not sure whether to just cry all day or to scream.  "OK! OK!  YESHUA, I GET IT.  I'M YOURS.  I BELONG TO YOU!!"

So now begins the journey of living before Jealous Jealous and no one else...