Pics Pics Pics! This person is amazing...:) <3 Kymberly Janelle!
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Sunday, October 9, 2011
Nefarious: Merchant of Souls Screening - Exhortation for Parents
Tonight, I saw the screening of Nefarious: Merchant of Souls. It's a documentary exposing the human sex slave trade, human trafficking, prostitution, etc. I must say, for a Christian movie, this was really REALLY good. It was very intense, very real, and very raw. I wish it was in all the theaters all over the country! It actually puts Yeshua in a realistic light!!! Real people coming to know God through impossible circumstances. I cried through the entire movie. This movie was so informative and yet, it brings Jesus into the situation in such a way that doesn't make things seem awkward and cheesy. FINALLY!!!! The only other movie that I think is a legit Christian movie is To Save A Life.
Anyway, the movie made some pretty clear and tough statements to handle. I think one of the craziest comments through the movie was from a pimp who said, "Thank God for all those dads, step-dads, uncles, etc. who get the girls seasoned through abuse." That's not a direct quote. But...wow. 95% of all the prostitutes today (I believe in America, actually) have suffered sexual abuse by their fathers or a male figure in their family. This is the beginning stages of feelings of worthlessness. The male figure is declaring to the child their worth and value at a young age.
To top this off, 80%-90% of all female children in Cambodia are being sold BY THEIR PARENTS into the sex slave industry to make money for them. Why? So the dads can sit on their butts, smoking, drinking and playing games, and the moms can have tv's and cell phones. It's horrifying to me the reality of how much of an orphaned generation we are today. Parents are selling their kids into sex slavery. Here, I see a wide variety of both good and bad parents. Sometimes, I see parents who are so bent of their own perfection that they cover up and control their children. They literally bring them into their dysfunction. This is similar, but in a different way for the other side. Other parents are so screwed up themselves that they suck their children into their issues and make their lives hell. I'm actually talking about believing parents here. That's the shocker.
It makes me so aware of the fact that we are a truly broken generation in need of a Jesus who heals, and a Father who fathers us. We've been tormented and exploited on a number of levels that we end up in situation of bondage, sometimes even in prostitution (whether you're being paid for it or not). I couldn't help but relate so intensely to the emotions of some of these girls coming out of prostitution. I've never prostituted myself, to be clear. But some of the things I've gone through follow closely to the emotional situations. It just makes me think I need to be in counselling way more than I thought.
This broken generation doesn't need anymore cheesy ridiculous Christian movies, or silly camps that pretend like everything is ok and Jesus is only fun and games! We need the God of holy fire that will come down and heal our wounded and distressed hearts! We need the Holy Spirit to reign in our bodies so we can find real lasting identity in Yeshua who died for us. When He was crucified on the cross, it was pretty darn gruesome. It wasn't a game. It wasn't a joke. It wasn't beautiful. That is the Yeshua we need. That is the God that our broken and depressed and hopeless generation needs. We need people to surround us that say that it's ok to be weak and broken and that we don't have to hide the terrors on the inside anymore. If we don't let it come up, it won't come out. No more pretending! We need the Word of God to pierce our hearts!
Parents, I'm urging you to not let your children fall through the cracks because of your own brokenness. Rise up and fight for them. Don't fight against them because they're hurting. Fight for them, along side them, with Yeshua in the midst of you both. Don't let this epidemic of a "fatherless" generation continue. Don't leave your children orphans. Love them through their pain.
God, I ask that You would come and teach me the way I should go. Reign in my being, that I might find wholeness by Your Spirit through Your Son. God, save me from myself today. Bring me out of the miry clay. Help me to bring all my wounds and afflictions before Your throne. I want healing. I want wholeness. But I can't do this on my own. Rescue me from the horrible pit, Father. Rescue me and clean my wounds, for my flesh is torn and my body mangled. I don't have any strength left, God. I need Your arms of love to rise up. Take away my mourning, and give me beauty for ashes. In the Name of Yeshua who heals me through His great sacrifice, Amen.
Anyway, the movie made some pretty clear and tough statements to handle. I think one of the craziest comments through the movie was from a pimp who said, "Thank God for all those dads, step-dads, uncles, etc. who get the girls seasoned through abuse." That's not a direct quote. But...wow. 95% of all the prostitutes today (I believe in America, actually) have suffered sexual abuse by their fathers or a male figure in their family. This is the beginning stages of feelings of worthlessness. The male figure is declaring to the child their worth and value at a young age.
To top this off, 80%-90% of all female children in Cambodia are being sold BY THEIR PARENTS into the sex slave industry to make money for them. Why? So the dads can sit on their butts, smoking, drinking and playing games, and the moms can have tv's and cell phones. It's horrifying to me the reality of how much of an orphaned generation we are today. Parents are selling their kids into sex slavery. Here, I see a wide variety of both good and bad parents. Sometimes, I see parents who are so bent of their own perfection that they cover up and control their children. They literally bring them into their dysfunction. This is similar, but in a different way for the other side. Other parents are so screwed up themselves that they suck their children into their issues and make their lives hell. I'm actually talking about believing parents here. That's the shocker.
It makes me so aware of the fact that we are a truly broken generation in need of a Jesus who heals, and a Father who fathers us. We've been tormented and exploited on a number of levels that we end up in situation of bondage, sometimes even in prostitution (whether you're being paid for it or not). I couldn't help but relate so intensely to the emotions of some of these girls coming out of prostitution. I've never prostituted myself, to be clear. But some of the things I've gone through follow closely to the emotional situations. It just makes me think I need to be in counselling way more than I thought.
This broken generation doesn't need anymore cheesy ridiculous Christian movies, or silly camps that pretend like everything is ok and Jesus is only fun and games! We need the God of holy fire that will come down and heal our wounded and distressed hearts! We need the Holy Spirit to reign in our bodies so we can find real lasting identity in Yeshua who died for us. When He was crucified on the cross, it was pretty darn gruesome. It wasn't a game. It wasn't a joke. It wasn't beautiful. That is the Yeshua we need. That is the God that our broken and depressed and hopeless generation needs. We need people to surround us that say that it's ok to be weak and broken and that we don't have to hide the terrors on the inside anymore. If we don't let it come up, it won't come out. No more pretending! We need the Word of God to pierce our hearts!
Parents, I'm urging you to not let your children fall through the cracks because of your own brokenness. Rise up and fight for them. Don't fight against them because they're hurting. Fight for them, along side them, with Yeshua in the midst of you both. Don't let this epidemic of a "fatherless" generation continue. Don't leave your children orphans. Love them through their pain.
God, I ask that You would come and teach me the way I should go. Reign in my being, that I might find wholeness by Your Spirit through Your Son. God, save me from myself today. Bring me out of the miry clay. Help me to bring all my wounds and afflictions before Your throne. I want healing. I want wholeness. But I can't do this on my own. Rescue me from the horrible pit, Father. Rescue me and clean my wounds, for my flesh is torn and my body mangled. I don't have any strength left, God. I need Your arms of love to rise up. Take away my mourning, and give me beauty for ashes. In the Name of Yeshua who heals me through His great sacrifice, Amen.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Did Someone Just Roar At Me? Encounters With Jealous Jealousy.
What happens when the love of God, nay, the jealousy of God encounters you in a way that you actually didn't want it to? What happens when you realize that God actually loves you so much that He's willing to remove everything you hold close to get you to just look at Him? What happens when you lose everything for the sake of knowing God?
You know, we say things like, "God, I'd do anything for You! Just name it!" or "I love You more than any other" or "I count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord" (Phil 3:8-9)...but what happens when He answers our little prayers? What happens when He asks us to do the unthinkable? When He says, "Go here, now, and don't complain or ask questions"? What happens when the thing (or person) you love the most is actually the thing that God wants to take away...because it's hindering your relationship with Him?
We can say these little prayers all we want, and they can be real in our hearts, but when He truly answers your "heart's cry" and takes you seriously when you say you count ALL things loss, will you be ready to throw it all away? Will you be willing to give up that which you hold closest to your heart (however godly it may be) to follow Christ?
Shopping?
Coffee?
Boyfriends?
Alcohol?
Clothes?
Books?
Facebook?
Your family?
Popularity?
What are we really willing to give up for Him? How far are we really willing to go to get closer to Him? We can use all the language we want and we can make it sound all pretty in our unnecessarily long prayers to prove to others how holy we are. But in the end...what will you give up for Him?
The word "torrent" simply means "a heavy, uncontrolled outpouring". We think God's wrath is cruel, and His anger a heavy, uncontrolled outpouring, but have we met Jealous Jealousy yet? I find myself overwhelmed and unable to stand at the presence of God's severe jealousy for me. In my attempt not to be completely horrified and angry with Him, I find myself regressing to a rather laid out, on my face, sobbing over my weakness and His immense jealousy state of being. What more could I ask for? The God of love is loving me. And yet, His jealousy has struck me to the pit of my being. I'm immovable. A stone in awe of the High and Lofty One. It's like an arrow in my heart; I'm not sure whether to pull it out, or to just break the tip off and forget the rest. The Lord of lords has wounded me.
The love that I have been asking and waiting for has manifested itself as a Lion...completely terrifying roar.
Is this the God of love you know? I sure haven't known Him like this before. I've known His tender love and affection, His grace that empowers me to follow Him, and the One whose hearts burns for His children. I've known the Jesus who serves, the Jewish Rabbi, the Intercessor, the High Priest...and so on and so forth (we could be here all day if I listed them all). Suddenly, the Bridegroom, King, and Judge all came together (meaning, all the facets of Jesus became one...even though they already were one to begin with, but you know what I mean) and this resounding "ROOOOAAAAAARRRRRR" came out of Him...so now I'm on my face, freakin' out. lol.
You know when God kinda just turns your world upside down and you're left in this pseudo-blob state with some twitching so people know you're alive? Well...that's me. Right now. I'm really not sure whether to just cry all day or to scream. "OK! OK! YESHUA, I GET IT. I'M YOURS. I BELONG TO YOU!!"
So now begins the journey of living before Jealous Jealous and no one else...
You know, we say things like, "God, I'd do anything for You! Just name it!" or "I love You more than any other" or "I count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord" (Phil 3:8-9)...but what happens when He answers our little prayers? What happens when He asks us to do the unthinkable? When He says, "Go here, now, and don't complain or ask questions"? What happens when the thing (or person) you love the most is actually the thing that God wants to take away...because it's hindering your relationship with Him?
We can say these little prayers all we want, and they can be real in our hearts, but when He truly answers your "heart's cry" and takes you seriously when you say you count ALL things loss, will you be ready to throw it all away? Will you be willing to give up that which you hold closest to your heart (however godly it may be) to follow Christ?
What are we really willing to give up for Him? How far are we really willing to go to get closer to Him? We can use all the language we want and we can make it sound all pretty in our unnecessarily long prayers to prove to others how holy we are. But in the end...what will you give up for Him?
"Wrath is cruel, and anger a torrent, But who is able to stand before jealousy?" (Proverbs 27:4, NKJV)
The word "torrent" simply means "a heavy, uncontrolled outpouring". We think God's wrath is cruel, and His anger a heavy, uncontrolled outpouring, but have we met Jealous Jealousy yet? I find myself overwhelmed and unable to stand at the presence of God's severe jealousy for me. In my attempt not to be completely horrified and angry with Him, I find myself regressing to a rather laid out, on my face, sobbing over my weakness and His immense jealousy state of being. What more could I ask for? The God of love is loving me. And yet, His jealousy has struck me to the pit of my being. I'm immovable. A stone in awe of the High and Lofty One. It's like an arrow in my heart; I'm not sure whether to pull it out, or to just break the tip off and forget the rest. The Lord of lords has wounded me.
The love that I have been asking and waiting for has manifested itself as a Lion...completely terrifying roar.
Is this the God of love you know? I sure haven't known Him like this before. I've known His tender love and affection, His grace that empowers me to follow Him, and the One whose hearts burns for His children. I've known the Jesus who serves, the Jewish Rabbi, the Intercessor, the High Priest...and so on and so forth (we could be here all day if I listed them all). Suddenly, the Bridegroom, King, and Judge all came together (meaning, all the facets of Jesus became one...even though they already were one to begin with, but you know what I mean) and this resounding "ROOOOAAAAAARRRRRR" came out of Him...so now I'm on my face, freakin' out. lol.
You know when God kinda just turns your world upside down and you're left in this pseudo-blob state with some twitching so people know you're alive? Well...that's me. Right now. I'm really not sure whether to just cry all day or to scream. "OK! OK! YESHUA, I GET IT. I'M YOURS. I BELONG TO YOU!!"
So now begins the journey of living before Jealous Jealous and no one else...
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Isaiah 57:15
For thus says the High and Lofty One
Who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy:
"I dwell in the high and holy place,
With him who has a contrite and humble spirit,
To revive the spirit of the humble,
And to revive the heart of the contrite ones."
Monday, October 3, 2011
The Potter Molds His Clay
"But now, O Lord, You are our Father; We are the clay, and You our potter; And all we are the work of Your hand." (Isaiah 64:8)
This verse, while sweet and prayerful at first glance, is actually in the middle of a huge intercessory cry in Isaiah 64. It begins with, "Oh, that You would rend the heavens! That You would come down" (verse 1), and then goes to "But we are all like an unclean thing, And all our righteousness are like filthy rags" (verse 6) Then it suddenly stops. "But now, O Lord, You are our Father" (verse 8).
I think many times we only like to look at the pretty verses of the Bible. You know, the Jesus loves me verses. And He does! Praise God for that!!! But I think there's another side to the Bible that so many like to forget about or glance over because it's too difficult to look at and take in. I'm not talking about using the right language or pretending to be this way. I'm talking about real repentance. I'm talking about the real fear of the Lord.
The fear of the Lord isn't some horror movie with an alien and people die and stuff. The fear of the Lord is clean, and usually pretty tender (although I do know that it's pretty intense as well). It brings us closer to the Lord and helps us to remember that our ways are not like His. It reminds us of who God really is. He is almighty, unsearchable, unknowable, omnipotent, all-powerful, sovereign, immense, infinite, indescribable, uncontainable, unchangeable, incomparable....you, know, just like that Chris Tomlin song. But is it just a Chris Tomlin song to us, or is it a reality? Is God's immensity a reality to us? Has His infinitude marked our lives?
I think that sometimes we get so involved with language and doing it because everyone else does it and it's just what we do that our hearts remain barren and our gardens remain unkempt (by garden, I mean the inner sanctuary of our hearts, where we commune with God). Relationship becomes religion and we're no longer getting revelation and wisdom in the knowledge of God.
When the children of Israel were in the wilderness, the Lord gave them manna to eat. He commanded them to just take for one day because He would provide for tomorrow. But they wouldn't listen. They tried to stock up and save the manna so that it would last. While a seemingly responsible thing to do, this is not what the Lord asked them to do. So, they ate what they wanted that day, and saved the rest for the next. But, when they woke up in the morning, the manna was horribly rotten. They did not listen to the Lord. He said He would provide new manna each day (except for Shabbat; then they had to get enough for two days).
The Lord has enough provisions for our hearts each day. So many times we see those who try to get a big high at a conference or during one of the feasts so it'll last a long time. While their revelation of the Lord may be genuine, the Lord wants to give us more! When they come home, two weeks go by, and the revelation has worn off. This is called "coming down the mountain". Conferences are a good thing, but the Lord uses those to throw logs on our already burning fire. Many times He uses it to kindle the fire or rekindle it. But we must keep the fire going! We must not let it go out. How can we do this? It takes God to love God!
"And there is no one who calls on Your name, Who stirs himself up to take hold of You; For You have hidden Your face from us, And have consumed us because of our iniquities. But now, O Lord, You are our Father; We are the clay, and You our potter; And all we are the work of Your hand." (Isaiah 64:7-8, NKJV, bold added)The key is this: We clearly can do nothing on our own and no manner of stirring ourselves up makes any difference in how well we know God. We must fear the Lord now, repent, and allow Him to do the work in us.
Well, how exactly does that work, Dolly, because I can't really see Him or anything? How do I know He's doing anything at all?
"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, he evidence of things not seen.....By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the Word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible." (Hebrews 11:1&3)Also...
"being confident in this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ" (Philippians 1:6)Therefore, we should..
"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!" (Matthew 7:7-11, NKJV)Also....
"If you love me, keep My commandments. And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever -- the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you. I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you." (John 14:15)
Or...
"If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples." (John 15:7-8)
I want to be Yeshua's talmidah ("student", feminine singular). I want to be His disciple. I want to fear His Name and obey His commands because I love Him. "We love Him because He first loved us" (1 John 4:18-19).
I want to make very clear that God really is a God of love. He is love itself. If you think love is too froo-froo or hippie for the Bible, you need to check your heart and read it again. The Old Testament is about love too. It's not just the NT. God really is a God that loves His children. He truly is our Father and His Son really died on that tree for us, with us individually in mind. If that does not bring love to your heart, and make you want to love God more, then how can you call yourself a disciple of Yeshua?
God is love, and I desire wholeheartedly to be more like Him. But, I need the fear of the Lord to bring me closer in love. I need my Father in heaven to hear my cries of repentance and rend the heavens and come down! Don't leave me an orphan, Lord! I mean that metaphorically, of course. I actually have a dad and he's pretty awesome. :) I need the Helper, the Holy Spirit, to guide me with conviction that I might come boldly before the throne of grace in repentance. I need Yeshua, my Savior and Redeemer...my Friend...who died for me on that tree when I didn't deserve it. "You owe me nothing, I deserve hell, You owe me nothing, but You've given me mercy." The Creator and Sustainer of all things came down to this earth as a Man and chose to die that insignificant me might have life and be with Him in eternity.
How can I not give my life to this Man? My heart leaps with joy and is humbled equally at the thought of this God-Man.
"When I consider the heavens, the work of Your fingers, The moon and the stars, which You have ordained, What is man that You are mindful of him, And the Son of Man that You visit Him? For You have made Him a little lower than the angels, And You have crowned Him with glory and honor. You have made Him to have dominion over the works of Your hands; You have put all things under His feet" (Psalm 8:3-6).
God, I ask that You would come and father me. I ask that You would teach me, and mold me, that I might be more like Yeshua. Give my grace to ask, to seek, and to knock. I want the fear of the Lord to reign in my entire being, that I would know the reality of who You are, God. Don't let me slip away. Don't let me become barren and dull on the inside. I need fresh manna today! I need more of You. I am nothing and have nothing without You, Yeshua. Bring me to life each day as I seek Your face. I submit to You, Lord. You are the Potter. I am the clay. I return from my wicked ways, and I pour out my love and devotion before Your feet alone. I don't deserve anything, but You deliver me because You delight in me (Psalm 18:19).
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