And I Fell In Love With The Artist...

So, it's official.  I can say it now.  I'm. Going. To. IHOP-KC.

It's so strange being in this place again.  Exactly one year ago, I was doing the same thing I am doing now...fundraising, moving, working, stressing.  While I feel a connection with what I was doing a year ago, I realize I am a completely different person.  Ironically, I have not been the one to point out the changes...others have.  But, I guess that's part of the change, too.  :)

I feel, looking back a the internship, a new sense of strength.  While many of you know I don't have a very thick skin, it is definitely thicker than before.  I also am finally able to have fun and experience a childhood I never really got to have.  Quite honestly, who cares if people think I'm childish!?  I never got to be a kid, so I'm gonna do it now and have fun.  Having fun has actually become a fairly necessary part of my life.  Having fun has helped me to overcome and stay strong.  It also helps the time go by faster! :D  I feel like, through having designated times (or not-so designated times) of fun, I have been able to give the "little Dolly" in me some hope and peace.

I think of my life as this crazy adventure...like Indiana Jones, or something.  The only problem is I keep trying to figure out the ending to each episode (or movie)!  Fortunately for everyone else, God has me on a "need-to-know" basis.  He says, "Go here,"  and nothing else.  I don't ever know how long I'll be there, or what will happen afterward, or anything!  God drives me nuts sometimes (and I mean that in a very affectionately respectful way).  I just wanna shake my fist at Him and make Him tell me everything....the whens, the hows, the wheres, the whys, and for crying out loud how long I'm gonna have to wait for all of this to happen! ;)

God is pretty smart NOT to tell me, I think.  He knows me too well. He knows I'd be planning it and trying to make it all happen in my own strength if I knew the ending....but He wants ALL the glory.  I can't take any of it.  He is gonna make me wait so He can say (and I will know) it was all by His strength that I did it, and it was all because of His love for me that He brought all of this to pass.  He's God.  I'm not.  OK, Lord!  I get it!

I know something is on the brink of happening...but I don't know what it is, and I don't know how it's gonna happen.  I might possibly know the end result....but it's all kinda up in the air, and every time I try to figure out how or try to make it happen, it doesn't.  When will I try to stop meddling in God's plan?  Ugh!   Being impatient and slightly stubborn, I ask God, "Can't you just make it happen and get it over with already?!?!  I'm tired of waiting and trying to figure out what You're doing!"  He laughs like a Father would.  "Teddy isn't ready yet."  (this is a reference to a previous blog...please go to dollymullen.tumblr.com to see more)

I think it's time to stop being mad at God for not telling me stuff.

I hate that.  When you know you are mad at God for the wrong reasons.  He's God.  Of course He knows more than you.  Why would He tell you everything when you'll just ruin the plans and spoil His fun!?  Well, at least I know He's having fun carving a path for my life.  Now if I could just stay on it all the time! ;)

Looking at my blog name, Dolly by Design, I am reminded that I am by His design and so is my life.  Life is like a canvas that the Lord creates a beautiful masterpiece on.  Without Him, it's plain and white and sits in the attic collecting dust.  With Him, it's full of life and beauty; an intricate magnum opus, filled with texture and dimension.  The Artist of artists has hand-crafted our lives with pleasure and joy.  The Artist of artists has skillfully composed the adventure of a lifetime.  The Artist has done it again.  He has ravished my heart with one glance of His heart.  He has managed to leave me breathless, yet again.

How fair is Your love, O Lord, Maker of the heavens, Ruler of the skies.  My heart searches after the Chief among ten thousand.  I come alive at Your Word, and the very breath of Your Being.  Wrap me in a garment of praise.  Clothe me in righteous.  Sustain me, Lord.  I fall into Your arms of grace and mercy.  There I shall find rest for my soul.  Wash me clean with Your blood, and raise me up to follow You. I am Yours.  You are mine.  Nothing else matters. 

Prayer Support Letter

Beloved Family in Yeshua,

During my Internship at the International House of Prayer (IHOP-KC), the Lord spoke to me very clearly about becoming an equipped worshiper and worship leader.  While I have studied (and will continue to study) dance and theater, the Lord reminded me of my call to music, as well.  Music has always been a small part of my life, but I allowed it to take a back seat to dance and theater.  I believe wholeheartedly that the Lord is calling me to be a skilled worshiper and worship leader with the full spectrum of the Performing Arts as my expression.  I believe He is calling me to a full-time ministry of healing, deliverance, and evangelism using my gifts as an artist and the gift of compassion He has given me for others. 

“Brethren, my heart’s desire and prayer to God for Israel is that they may be saved”          (Romans 10:1)

I believe that the Lord is raising me up to be a bridge between the Messianic Movement and the Church; showing that teaching others with a loving spirit is the way to bring the truth of our Jewish Messiah and the Word of God.  I feel very passionately about my Jewish heritage and, like Paul, am called to be a light to Gentiles Believers and reveal the truth of the good news to both Jews and Gentiles.

As the Lord was speaking to me about studying music, He revealed to me two things: the first was that I was to come home to California for a 6-month period, and the second was that I was to return to IHOP-KC to further my theological training and begin my musical training at the International House of Prayer University (IHOPU) in the Forerunner Music Academy (FMA).  I fully believe that while the Lord equips the called, He also calls us to equip ourselves for the coming times.  I believe with my whole heart that receiving theological and musical training at IHOP-KC (along with a desired continuance of healing and deliverance) will prepare me for my main ministry calling as one who calls others to know Yeshua HaMashiach. 

I will be moving to Kansas City, Missouri in July 2011. My plan is to rent an apartment with two other girls (one of them being a former roommate from the Internship), work part-time as a Starbucks barista, attend IHOPU as a full-time FMA student, and continue the healing process.  To continue in my Jewish expression and identity, I plan on attending a wonderful Messianic Jewish Synagogue called Or HaOlam (Light of the World), led by Rabbi Shmuel Wolkenfeld.  I also plan on hosting all feasts at my home, and inviting my Gentile friends to participate and learn the Jewish roots of the faith and the importance of God’s Appointed Times.  

As I heed my call from the Lord, I graciously ask you to consider becoming a prayer partner and, possibly, a regular or one-time financial sponsor/partner.  The trip to Kansas City will cost approximately $1500.00.  Monthly expenses will be between $500 and $1000.  The cost of tuition for a second semester FMA student at IHOPU is $2825.00.  I am so grateful for your consideration of partnering with me in this journey that the Lord has me on.  I look forward to sharing what God has in store for me with you all.

                                                                                    With Love in Our Messiah,

                                                                                                Dolly Mullen

“For the love of Messiah compels us, because we judge thus: that if One died for all, then all died; and He died for all, that those who live should love no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again.”                                                                                                                               (2 Corinthians 5:14-15)