Today, Becca, Debbie and I got together and did a photoshoot! Becca took the pictures, Debbie did my hair and was the Artistic Director, lol, and I was the model/dancer. :D It was actually quite fun! We started off a little late, but it ended up being perfect timing and weather!
I picked Becca up in Buena Park, then drove down to Debbie's house (after a much needed Starbucks pit stop). Debs did my hair (nice n curled), and I did my makeup. After about 3 hours, we left and headed for Huntington Beach. There's a strip of grass over on Magnolia, right before you hit the beach. It's absolutely gorgeous, and I've always wanted to take pictures there. They have trees, rocks, open field-type thing, etc.
So when we got there, we finished up our El Pollo Loco, and then I made the girls get out so I could change. I gave them my huge leopard blanket and a beach towel to hold over the car so no one could see in. This....was quite an experience. Here I am, getting changed in the car, while these two crazy girls are outside spread across my car with the blanket and towel. The second time we did something else. :)
Taking the photographs was a lot of fun, but definitely something I've never done before. I found myself laughing and joking around quite a bit. I definitely struggled with a lack of confidence in my appearance and beauty when I was taking the pictures.
After this little extravaganza, we stopped by Deborah's to get a different camera (since Becca's ran outta battery), then we went down to the beach.
The weather was perfect! It was SUPER windy! I prayed for lotsa wind. Then Becca prayed we wouldn't get sick! haha. The beach literally looked like a desert storm. So, we went down to the water and took a couple more casual pictures, and then I went to change.
I change into my all white dance clothes. We had all this fabric that we're using for a Human Video we'll be performing soon. I got it out and we went nuts with it. We had a 36 ft. long garment that the wind held up! I didn't have to do anything! That is exactly what we were hoping for. The Lord just brought it all together and made it all possible.
I think it was such a success and so much fun today because all three of us girls were working in the giftings that the Lord has placed on us. Debbie with hair, Becca with photography, and myself attempting to (for the first time) model. I feel like I'll be doing some of this kinda stuff more in the future, so this experience was very good for me. The dancing part was definitely easier for me. I'm looking forward to the finished product!
Look out for the product of our little adventure soon! <3
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Just Me....No More. No Less.
This is where my heart is right now. Please watch with an open heart, and know that I just want Him. That's it. Nothing more. Nothing less. :) Blessings. :)
Friday, May 20, 2011
The Great Escape - A Mask of Perfection
I think it's been difficult to figure out my thoughts on the subject I'm about to talk about. I recently posted a status on Facebook that got way more Likes and comments than I expected. This subject has been on my heart a lot, but I'm not sure how to word everything. Many times, when I blog, I actually process a certain subject in my head (which is why my writing style comes out so informal...it's almost stream of conscience stuff). So, maybe this will speak to some of you...or maybe it won't even make sense at all.
Here we go...
The Lord has been speaking to me a lot about love. 1 Corinthians 13 kinda love. He's been giving me situation after situation where I have the choice (and I know it) to love someone who is in blatant sin or who is openly unloving towards me (which is, honestly, another form of sin). In my travels and walk, I have come to a place where it's simply not good enough to make it all about me. I mean, since when has the gospel been all about us anyway? The most awesome part of the Bible is that it's not about us at all. It's all about God. It's all about what He wants. It's all about who He is. Now, should we not try to be like Him? Of course, we will NEVER attain to anywhere near the awesomeness of Yeshua. But He says Himself, "Be perfect as I am perfect" and "Be holy for I am holy."
God Himself IS Love. He is love. And what was the greatest act of love that God has shown us? Was it not His choice to go to the cross, die, and be resurrected? Was this not the greatest act of love He has shown us? His CHOICE to love us, even though we ARE unworthy of His love. Even though we hated Him, He died for us because "God so loved the world." So, since God so loved us, shall we not love Him in return? And shall we not love our neighbor as ourselves?
But we are a people who are selfish. We believe that the world revolves all around us; what we do, how we think, who we make ourselves out to be. If people don't agree with our ideals, we tend to hate them. We judge them.
But, this is not all I want to talk about. That's an unfinished thought that I may finish later. But I feel I should move on to what I really really want to talk about. That's kinda the intro, haha.
Humans have this innate desire to be perfect. We want to wear the "right" clothes and have the "right" friends and do the "right" things. This desire is actually God-given, I believe. Our desire to want to be perfect as He is perfect....who does not want that? But we all need to realize that we will never really attain true perfection. Wait, you mean I'm not the best missionary in the world, and other people will minister to people "better" than me? You mean I'm not the best musician in the world, and other people will be more skilled and anointed than I am? Unfortunately this is true. I believe this is God's way of getting us to realize that it's really all about Him anyway, so who cares if someone else is better than you? It's a humbling experience, really.
The hard part is when we want so badly to be "perfect" that we put up this false facade of who we are. We're not good enough for ourselves, so we have to lie to everyone else so they don't notice. That's what it really boils down to folks.
So, we build this facade. I think most people actually believe this is who they really are sometimes. We HAVE to wear certain clothes and look a certain way (depending on our belief-system). We start hanging out with certain people and acting certain ways and leaving little comments about loving other people (when we actually, at the end of the day, don't love them at all) , etc. But then we lose ourselves. We lose our real friends, and even sometimes our families.
Sometimes dealing with "home" (spiritual or physical) is really difficult. This member is being ridiculous, the other one doesn't understand, and another thinks you're altogether nuts. You feel like you're carrying the weight of the spiritual authority for everyone. You feel like you have to keep the peace and keep it altogether, because, if you didn't, everything would fall apart. The pressure is unending. You're trying to keep this facade of perfection and "home" is not listening to you. You can't make "home" perfect. No matter how hard you try, they just won't change. Their stubbornness is the thorn in your side. Let's get real, though. It's cramping your image, too.
In reaction (and probably in defense of yourself), you run. It's really too much to handle. So you try to escape. You place yourself with people who you can keep that facade with and believe your lie. You place yourself with people who won't challenge your beliefs and test you. They don't sharpen you. But you like it, because you don't want to rock the boat. You just want to love the Lord and that's it. You don't want to deal with the drama anymore. Meanwhile, everything else is still there.
Our problems don't go away simply because we don't want to deal with them and try to push them aside. The people we struggle with don't go away simply because we avoid them or passive aggressively push them aside.
The reality is that our facade can only last for so long, until God cuts it off. He gives those around us discernment to know when something isn't right. It's God's love that can overcome the facade. He wants to melt away this mask, and make us whole and real and authentic. It's not enough to play believer and not take care of what God has put before us. He puts trials in our path to help us grow and lean on Him. He wants to make us stronger. We have a choice. We have a decision to make. Is it enough to continue a life where we run from the fight rather than standing on the front lines, saying, "Yes, Lord"? We can't keep it up forever. If we don't confront the battle, the battle gets bigger and it comes to us. It's not enough to try to just do the bare minimum with those who are in God's image (no matter how much you don't like them, or are disappointed in them, or think they're a bad influence).
God is calling the Body of Believers to love the way He loves. Why? Because it's not all about us. It's all about Him. It's all about what He wants. It's all about who He is. If God can love a leper, so can we. He wants REAL, AUTHENTIC, LOVERS. This passive aggressive stuff doesn't fool God. He knows. He wants to cleanse us from a passive aggressive action, that is really an unloving spirit. He wants to teach us to love. Learn from Him and love others. Fight the battle. Don't be afraid. Stand strong in the face of the enemy. If you don't quit, you'll win. You cannot run from a test that God Himself wants you to go through. He will make you victorious. He will make you strong. He will make you meek and humble and loving. Turn to Him. Look at His face. When you run from His trials, you run from Him. You disobey Him. You turn your back on Him.
We must face our fears and run to God when trials come our way. Be grateful for the testing. It's because He loves us that He tests us. He is faithful to bring us forth as a pure and spotless bride. Dealing with the hard stuff is apart of that. Let's run together and show the world who our God is! :)
Lord, God, give me the strength to be authentic and real with everyone, and to love those who do not love me first or in return. Take this facade away. I want to see You, Lord. I want to see Your face. With a mask on, I can't see who You really are, and what You really want for me. Give me strength to face the battle. Give me courage to stand firm. Give me a spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of You, Lord. Help me to stand for truth in the face of a lying spirit. Help me to love the way You love. I give my life to You, Lord. You are my strength in the day of trouble. You are my fortress when I want to escape. I run into Your arms. Help me to overcome. I submit my cares to You, Lord. I give You all my doubts and fears and judgments and hatred and anger. I give You my whole heart. Take it and make it beautiful again. I trust Your leadership. In the Name of Yeshua, my Savior and Leader, AMEN.
Here we go...
The Lord has been speaking to me a lot about love. 1 Corinthians 13 kinda love. He's been giving me situation after situation where I have the choice (and I know it) to love someone who is in blatant sin or who is openly unloving towards me (which is, honestly, another form of sin). In my travels and walk, I have come to a place where it's simply not good enough to make it all about me. I mean, since when has the gospel been all about us anyway? The most awesome part of the Bible is that it's not about us at all. It's all about God. It's all about what He wants. It's all about who He is. Now, should we not try to be like Him? Of course, we will NEVER attain to anywhere near the awesomeness of Yeshua. But He says Himself, "Be perfect as I am perfect" and "Be holy for I am holy."
God Himself IS Love. He is love. And what was the greatest act of love that God has shown us? Was it not His choice to go to the cross, die, and be resurrected? Was this not the greatest act of love He has shown us? His CHOICE to love us, even though we ARE unworthy of His love. Even though we hated Him, He died for us because "God so loved the world." So, since God so loved us, shall we not love Him in return? And shall we not love our neighbor as ourselves?
But we are a people who are selfish. We believe that the world revolves all around us; what we do, how we think, who we make ourselves out to be. If people don't agree with our ideals, we tend to hate them. We judge them.
But, this is not all I want to talk about. That's an unfinished thought that I may finish later. But I feel I should move on to what I really really want to talk about. That's kinda the intro, haha.
Humans have this innate desire to be perfect. We want to wear the "right" clothes and have the "right" friends and do the "right" things. This desire is actually God-given, I believe. Our desire to want to be perfect as He is perfect....who does not want that? But we all need to realize that we will never really attain true perfection. Wait, you mean I'm not the best missionary in the world, and other people will minister to people "better" than me? You mean I'm not the best musician in the world, and other people will be more skilled and anointed than I am? Unfortunately this is true. I believe this is God's way of getting us to realize that it's really all about Him anyway, so who cares if someone else is better than you? It's a humbling experience, really.
The hard part is when we want so badly to be "perfect" that we put up this false facade of who we are. We're not good enough for ourselves, so we have to lie to everyone else so they don't notice. That's what it really boils down to folks.
So, we build this facade. I think most people actually believe this is who they really are sometimes. We HAVE to wear certain clothes and look a certain way (depending on our belief-system). We start hanging out with certain people and acting certain ways and leaving little comments about loving other people (when we actually, at the end of the day, don't love them at all) , etc. But then we lose ourselves. We lose our real friends, and even sometimes our families.
Sometimes dealing with "home" (spiritual or physical) is really difficult. This member is being ridiculous, the other one doesn't understand, and another thinks you're altogether nuts. You feel like you're carrying the weight of the spiritual authority for everyone. You feel like you have to keep the peace and keep it altogether, because, if you didn't, everything would fall apart. The pressure is unending. You're trying to keep this facade of perfection and "home" is not listening to you. You can't make "home" perfect. No matter how hard you try, they just won't change. Their stubbornness is the thorn in your side. Let's get real, though. It's cramping your image, too.
In reaction (and probably in defense of yourself), you run. It's really too much to handle. So you try to escape. You place yourself with people who you can keep that facade with and believe your lie. You place yourself with people who won't challenge your beliefs and test you. They don't sharpen you. But you like it, because you don't want to rock the boat. You just want to love the Lord and that's it. You don't want to deal with the drama anymore. Meanwhile, everything else is still there.
Our problems don't go away simply because we don't want to deal with them and try to push them aside. The people we struggle with don't go away simply because we avoid them or passive aggressively push them aside.
The reality is that our facade can only last for so long, until God cuts it off. He gives those around us discernment to know when something isn't right. It's God's love that can overcome the facade. He wants to melt away this mask, and make us whole and real and authentic. It's not enough to play believer and not take care of what God has put before us. He puts trials in our path to help us grow and lean on Him. He wants to make us stronger. We have a choice. We have a decision to make. Is it enough to continue a life where we run from the fight rather than standing on the front lines, saying, "Yes, Lord"? We can't keep it up forever. If we don't confront the battle, the battle gets bigger and it comes to us. It's not enough to try to just do the bare minimum with those who are in God's image (no matter how much you don't like them, or are disappointed in them, or think they're a bad influence).
God is calling the Body of Believers to love the way He loves. Why? Because it's not all about us. It's all about Him. It's all about what He wants. It's all about who He is. If God can love a leper, so can we. He wants REAL, AUTHENTIC, LOVERS. This passive aggressive stuff doesn't fool God. He knows. He wants to cleanse us from a passive aggressive action, that is really an unloving spirit. He wants to teach us to love. Learn from Him and love others. Fight the battle. Don't be afraid. Stand strong in the face of the enemy. If you don't quit, you'll win. You cannot run from a test that God Himself wants you to go through. He will make you victorious. He will make you strong. He will make you meek and humble and loving. Turn to Him. Look at His face. When you run from His trials, you run from Him. You disobey Him. You turn your back on Him.
We must face our fears and run to God when trials come our way. Be grateful for the testing. It's because He loves us that He tests us. He is faithful to bring us forth as a pure and spotless bride. Dealing with the hard stuff is apart of that. Let's run together and show the world who our God is! :)
"when the mask of perfection get too tight, and your fear is too much to bear, what will you be left with? When you can't escape to a far away place anymore, and you're stuck in reality, what will you be left with? When the surface layer of the onion ends up being not enough, what will you be left with? Will you like what you are left with? Will you be willing to love who you are left with, even if it's not ideal?" -Facebook Status
Lord, God, give me the strength to be authentic and real with everyone, and to love those who do not love me first or in return. Take this facade away. I want to see You, Lord. I want to see Your face. With a mask on, I can't see who You really are, and what You really want for me. Give me strength to face the battle. Give me courage to stand firm. Give me a spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of You, Lord. Help me to stand for truth in the face of a lying spirit. Help me to love the way You love. I give my life to You, Lord. You are my strength in the day of trouble. You are my fortress when I want to escape. I run into Your arms. Help me to overcome. I submit my cares to You, Lord. I give You all my doubts and fears and judgments and hatred and anger. I give You my whole heart. Take it and make it beautiful again. I trust Your leadership. In the Name of Yeshua, my Savior and Leader, AMEN.
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